ROFSMBO (Rolling on the floor screaming my butt off)

Txt 'FANTASY' to 5566
by Harmony Melbourne ©2013

*Thank you for contacting Meridiana's Dream, Inc. In a few short moments, your personal needs specialist will txt you back. You will be charged $1.99 per txt, not including your own personal data plan charges. Other fees may accumulate for further services.*

*R U in the mood for a fantasy?*

Yes.

R U?

*Always.*

What's ur name?

*Lilith. Urs?*

Stan.

*I like it. Manly.*

I'm a young working professional.

*We all r, honey.*

I'm lonely.

*That's what I'm here 4.*

Lilith, I need u.

*K. When and where?*

Now. Come 2 my place. 551 W. Pl.

*On my way.*

When will u arrive?

*In 10 mins.*

4. Freaking. Evr.

*Patience.*

I can't wait.

*It'll B worth it.*

***

U 4got 2 collect.

*Next time.*

How much do I owe u?

*On the house.*

No joke?

*Seriously.*

It was really good.

*Thx! :-)*

***

So happy.

*I no.*

So tired.

*I no.*

Come back 2nite.

*800/night.*

Ur gonna charge?

*A girl needs food.*

***

Lilith. Where r u?

*Need me again?*

I think I'm in love.

*Haven't even made dinner, yet.*

Please. Food is irrelevant.

*All u need is love.*

***

Can't sleep.

*Really? I just got home.*

Come back. Stay the night.

*2morrow.*

Now.

***

Lily?

*1000 2nite.*

Ugh, grl. Don't play me like that.

*I'm breaking the rules. Not supposed to c u this often.*

I think u like me.

*I do, but I like $ more.*

1000 it is.

***

I need u.

*Don't u have a gf, Stan?*

Not anymore.

*LOL. Fine.*

***

I feel like crap.

*Sorry.*

Fired.

*WHAT?*

Stopped showing up.

*Y?*

All those late nights. 2 tired.

*Maybe we should take a break.*

No.

*Seriously…*

U make it all worthwhile.

***

Mom wants 2 meet u.

*When?*

2nite.

*Can't. Working.*

What do u mean, working?

How many guys do u "work" on?

*Only guys?*

S#$9!

*It's a job, Stan.*

And what if I booked u for 2nite?

*Then I'll come over. 2 work.*

U have 2 work?

*Yup.*

Forget the Mom idea, then.

***

Can't stop thinking about u.

*Same here.*

U can't stop thinking about u? ;-)

Ur so hottt

*That's my job.*

***

Did you put a spell on me?

*Yes. I'm a succubus. LOL.*

Haha.

Life w/o u is meaningless.

Marry me.

*We've only known each other for 6 wks.*

Who cares?

Marry me.

*U don't know anything about me.*

I'm in love.

*In lust?*

Quit. I love u.

*U don't have a job.*

Don't need 1.

Remember love?

Love is all u need.

***

Where were u 2nite?

*I had an appt.*

Another 'client.'

*What's ur problem?*

U know.

***

In the hospital.

*WHAT? Y?*

Don't no.

Just collapsed.

*Dude…*

They think I'm an addict.

*K?*

Addicted 2 u.

*Maybe u should c a counselor*.

Mary came 2 c me.

*Who's Mary?*

My gf.

*Oo. RU 2 back together?*

No.

She cried.

I can't stand the sight of her no more.

*Ur so cold.*

No. I feel hot.

*That's the fever talking.*

***

Come visit me, baby.

*I'm busy.*

PLEASE??????

*I can't.*

I'm dying.

*Ur being dramatic.*

Doc said my organs r shutting down.

*I'll come asap.*

***

One last time.

*I can't. It might kill u.*

It would make me feel so much better.

*It's bad for u.*

I have nothing left 2 live 4.

I'm depressed.

My body is broken.

U make me happy.

Y is it bad that I want u?

I have $.

*It's not about the $.*

U love me?

*Sure, Stan. I love u.*

Then marry me.

I'm leaving u the house.

*Don't talk like this.*

And my mint condition records.

***

I no what u r.

*Stan? Ur alive? Do u want me 2 call?*

Succubus.

x x x

No Luddite this guy. Texts a lot. I've never texted in my life. And now that I've read this, I never will. What do you think, AR denizens? Text to our BBS-or just post to it. - GM

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